Posts Tagged ‘Connections’

Cousins—Who Are They?

February 10, 2012 10 comments


Most people have cousins, kissing or otherwise. But, who are these people who aren’t part of your nuclear family but who are part of your history, some quite close to you.

Like many, I have tons of cousins, some I’ve never seen, talked to, and whose names I don’t know. Some I’ve not seen for most of my life. Others drop into and out of my life like jumping beans when the occasion warrants. While some never leave my continual memory, others linger only in an occasional, conversationally- triggered recollection, usually in conjunction with something or someone else.

I have one female cousin, for instance who’s a few years older than I. After I left high school, I didn’t see her often. From the early 70’s on, I didn’t see her at all. Of course, part of that was the fact that I didn’t live there any longer.

She came to my mother’s funeral in 1985 and we got a chance to talk for a while. Months later I didn’t get an opportunity to join her at her mother’s funeral. I was, again, out of state and unable to attend. I’ve always felt bad about that.

Our lives had taken such divergent paths, she with marriage and career, and me with exploration, that connecting didn’t enter the mix of our lives. That’s when an oddity landed in my inbox. A Facebook message came along that changed all that distance into an opportunity to reacquaint myself with this woman who’d sat in Grandma’s house and played with paper dolls.

She’s had three successful careers in her lifetime; corporate, consultant, and her own business of interior design. She’d grown restless and bored after retiring from corporate and plunged into design. She’d been business woman of the year a few times. She was still married. A dynamo, all the way around.

She reached out to me because we hadn’t seen or talked to each other since 1985 and she wanted to reconnect. I’m glad that she did.

We’re different people now, all grown up, histories of our own, failures and successes unique to ourselves, and generally have something interesting to share with each other. Those facts allow us to come together as two ends of a severed rope; each end having frayed in a slightly different pattern and tangle, but still able to be spliced back together and made stronger for it.

I’ll be honest here. I don’t reconnect with old friends and relations very well. I don’t have the knack of it yet. I never did, really.

I’m always anxious about who the person has become and whether I can now trust them as much as I did the last time we met. The converse is also true. There’s always the possibility that they’re most trustworthy than the last time we met. That very potential creates anxiety until they reveal who they are at present.

With cousins, the anxiety is double. These are part of the family. They are supposed to be trustworthy by definition and subject to championing me and mine at all times. It’s the possibility for disappointment or disillusionment that keeps meetings shaky. At least for me.

This new reconnection, though, is going along very well, I have to say. My cousin and I have plenty to explore within each other’s lives, talents, and changes. The person I knew from high school was a dim shadow of the woman I’ve come to know recently.

Today’s cousin has a fuller, richer personality, a deeper spirit than the one from memory. This cousin will become a very good friend for this time in my life.


A Frustrating Thing Happened…

August 18, 2011 2 comments

A writer’s life is no different than any other. There are daily tasks, daily needs to be fulfilled, and on those bad days, there are frustrations.

Some days, as everyone knows, frustrations can outweigh every other consideration that comes in the front door. I’ll give you a little taste of my running frustration to help brighten your day by making yours seem less annoying.

About three weeks ago something happened to my computer’s ability to allow certain types of functions. I really don’t think it’s in my computer, but rather, within the bodies of certain sites. I have, for over a year, had two blogs that had subscribers and followers as regular as rain in April. They both were NetworkedBlog(ed), so each posting I made showed up on my FB page.

The convenience of that connection disappeared without trace or explanation one day. I was left with nothing. Subscribers cannot even come into my blogs now. As far as I can tell, my widgets are right where they’re supposed to be, doing their job. My membership in NetworkedBlog is also intact, from what I can see.

This has brought me to more than just frustration, because about the same time, my ability to click on a link from one of my FB friends no longer takes me anywhere but a blank page. I cannot link out of FB. The same link, sent to me in an email, works just fine. Therefore, the problem is somewhere within FB and my account.

Now you see what I’m talking about. I have links all over the place and can’t use most of them. AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY!

Sometime ago I made a statement here. I said: it isn’t the questions that are the problem. It’s the answers that cause all the trouble. This is a perfect case in point. The question of WHY this is happening isn’t pertinent. Even the question of How do I fix this? It stands alone without friends. The question isn’t the problem.

If I find an answer, and I know it’s out there somewhere, I wonder how much trouble it’s going to cause me in time and frustration. I’ve learned one important lesson during the past three years of constant internet use. No answers are easy ones. They all cost in time, frustration, and many times, in dollars.

On top of all that mess is the knowledge that I’m also trying desperately to get another site up and running. Right now my luck and patience seem to be on the insufficient side of the bank account.

If anyone has a suggestion, knows what the problem might be, or just wants to commiserate with me, let me know. I’ll shed a tear for you as I scream at the screen that IT ISN”T FAIR!

Until later, folks, a bientot,