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Reality vs. Expectations

This morning when I woke, I continued to lie quietly, letting my mind wander where it would. Astounding thoughts materialize sometimes if you just allow them to come willy-nilly. I had no specific goal for the hour and the relaxing stretches and mental flow felt good.

I made up my mind to remain in a humorous mood for the day, to take that stand against the usual frustration and discontent that often turns the holidays into a minor nightmare at the very least. My mind flitted through  memories of a conversation with friends the night before, how much I still had left to do before Jan. 1, and the usual catalog of regrets, intentions and speculations.

The morning actually got off to a good start. Made my coffee, sis was already in her office pounding on the keyboard, I thanked heaven that my arthritis wasn’t kicking up due to incipient rain outside. Trust me, that was a blessing indeed.

My computer leaped at the chance to take off and explore the net, which hovered on the threshold of remarkable. It may be a new computer, but it and I have issues as yet unresolved. I got through the e-mail, sent out more electronic Christmas cards to those I don’t have physical addresses for, and got the general feel of the day. It was looking promising.

Everyone I talked to was in a fantastic mood, looking forward to the holidays. The usually busy writer’s group sites I frequent for playtime were expectedly lonely, and I just knew that after I had my twice-interrupted e-chat with my writing partner, I’d be able to get some real work done.

Wrong, Sis and I got called away around 11am, and I didn’t have the forethought nor time to inform my working partner that I might not make our meeting at 1pm. Well, I finally got back around 3pm, realized my error, and sent an immediate e-mail explaining what had happened and apologized. I’m sure she’s upset and rightfully so, getting forgotten like that. Ten minutes after sending that e-mail, actually two of them, my server when down, and I was left without anything for a while. When I got back on, there was nothing from my work partner, not even dust bunnies in my inbox. I turned to hoping her server had gone down, too, just so that there was another explanation for her silence. I’m still waiting.  What else can I do at this point?

My day had turned to cow manure before my very eyes. Control was not possible, not even an illusion of it.

I no longer had the desire to write, couldn’t talk to anyone about it ‘cause sis was taking a nap, no one’s on the net, and it’s still raining. Okay, drizzling. What’s left?

Might as well find something physical to do, right? In a house full of boxes since we’re making ready to move? I doubt it. Wake up sis who’s looking at a 48 hour shift on Christmas Eve and Day on an ambulance? You’re nuts if you think I’m that crazy. I had no motivation to play computer games, do research or anything else. So, finally I decided to write this blog. At least that would be some kind of writing for the day and it would get one thing off my daily “to do” list.

I stay up late most nights, so this one won’t be too different.  There’s always stuff to look up on the net to keep me busy. Marketing research is always good for days like this.

I hope your day has gone much better than mine and that your writing has, too.

Have a great holiday and may all your wishes come true.

A bientot,

Claudsy

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Categories: Life, Writing and Poetry
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